Abuse
by Jennifer Hack
Summary: Rated M for violence. Angsty FFVIII high school fic: Contains Abuse, Suicide, and an overall Anti drinking message.


Abuse

**(Abuse)**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Final Fantasy VIII. This is a Fanfic because it is written by a fan. Generally, people who own stuff don't go writing fanfics about it. They publish it and make a lot of money. I am not doing this because I am a Fan who does not own Final Fantasy VIII and is writing a Fanfic.

One more thing. I do not own any rights to the song Hello, or Evanescence.

**Authors Note:** Thanks to everyone who is actually taking the time to read this. This is a somewhat Angsty story about the Final Fantasy VIII characters in High School. I am sorry. I know the idea is generic, but I couldn't help writing my own version. Reviews of any kind including flames are welcome.

This story gets kind - of depressing. I just though I ought to warn you. This story contains Abuse, language, Suicide, and a overall anti - drinking message. If you find any of these things offensive, please do not read this.

**(I)**

Squall Leonheart had gotten back late from work on Sunday night. Technically, it was Monday morning. He was too tired to go into his room, so he fell asleep on the couch. He tried to remember a time when he wasn't alone. Squall's mother, Raine, had died so long ago, it seemed. He didn't know where his father was, he disappeared not long after his mother died. Ellone… his sister. He didn't know where she was, either. He was alone, and he couldn't remember anything before that.

_Playground school bell rings again. _

_Rain clouds come to play again._

_Has no one told you she's not breathing?_

Rinoa Heartilly was sitting in the backseat of her father's SUV. It was raining. Her father had gotten another job transfer, and they were moving again. Next to her was a brown box, at the top was a glass jar filled with seashells from the house by the ocean, where they lived when her mother was still alive. After all these years, all she had left of her mother was a glass jar of seashells and a tiny creased photograph. Angelo, her dog, was curled up on the seat.

In the last few years, her father had become an alcoholic, he spent more time at the bar and at work than he did at home, which was good. Rinoa brought a hand to her cheek, and felt the scab forming there. That was from when he came home, drunk and angry, and hit her. She had hit the countertop in the kitchen when she fell.

Sometimes she just wished she could go home, but the home she remembered wasn't there anymore.

_Hello._

_I'm your mind_

_Giving you_

_Someone to talk to._

_Hello. _

Squall was too tired to dream, which was good. He hated dreaming, they were always about the family he didn't have anymore. He had just turned seventeen in August, and he was going to graduate next year. He might go to college, provided he didn't kill himself first. Seven o' clock, the alarm went off.

Squall got to school at Seven thirty. Squall stood outside, by the front entrance, before the bell rang. He lit his cigarette and waited.

He saw a girl, someone he didn't know and was certain he had never seen before, turn to look at him. She was pretty, with her black hair and dark eyes. She gave him a small smile when she noticed him return her gaze, and her eyes quickly darted away, embarrassed. She walked into the school building.

_If I smile, and don't believe,_

_Soon I know I'll wake from this dream._

_Don't try to fix me I'm not broken._

"Can't find your locker?" Someone standing behind Rinoa asked.

"Umm… Apparently not." Rinoa said, frowning down on a piece of paper. She turned around to look at the person who spoke. A girl, probably her age, with brown hair worn in a flip and green eyes.

"My name's Selphie." The girl introduced herself. "And you are…?"

"Rinoa Caraway." Rinoa used her legal name.

"Here, Let me help you with that." Selphie smiled, looking at the paper in Rinoa's hand. "Oh, A36. I know where that is. Most of the 'A' lockers are this way." She pointed. "Come on, I'll show you."

"Thanks." Rinoa said, following Selphie. She had already decided she didn't like this new school's interior design - the floors were tiled black and white, and the walls were painted a bone white colour. Everything looked the same, you could easily get lost or die on the stairs or something and no one would find you for another few weeks until you started to smell.

At lunchtime, Rinoa stood at the front of the cafeteria with a tray filled with uneatable food, looking for an empty table.

"Oh! Rinoa! Over here!" Selphie shouted, waving an arm. She shrugged, and went over to join her.

"I saved you a seat." Selphie grinned.

"Thank you." Rinoa smiled, setting down her tray.

"Here," Selphie sat down next to her. "This is my friend, Quistis Trepe." She gestured to a tall blonde girl with blue eyes sitting across the table. Quistis smiled, and gave a small wave. "And this is my boyfriend, Irvine Kinneas." Selphie nodded to a tall boy with long brown hair and blue eyes.

"Hey." He smirked. "Selph, do you know where Zell is?" Irvine asked Selphie. She shrugged.

"Selphie?" Rinoa asked.

"Yeah?"

"Who's that?" She nodded in the direction of the young man with brown hair and blue eyes that she had seen smoking a cigarette outside earlier that morning. He was sitting alone, staring down at the table. He didn't have any food in front of him.

"Oh, that's Squall Leonheart." Selphie said. "Everyone generally stays away from him."

"Why?"

"He tried to kill himself last year." Irvine explained. "I think his mom died a while ago. He lives by himself, I think."

"That's awful."

"I know." Quistis agreed. "Squall is kind of a 'Lone Wolf', I guess. He's not very social."

"Him and Zell used to be, like, best friends, before it happened." Selphie interjected.

"I see." Rinoa turned back to look at him again. He was almost like her. They had both lost a mother. Squall must have known she was looking at him because he turned his head to face her. Rinoa quickly looked away.

_Hello,_

_I'm the lie,_

_Living for you so you can hide,_

_Don't cry._

She was staring at him again. Squall looked back down at the table. He was thinking that there were only eighty - three minutes left in the school day.

His train of thought was interrupted by a loud crash.

"What's going on!" Selphie Tillmitt jumped up.

"Fight! Fight!" Some of the other students began chanting. Everyone crowded into the hallway. Squall ran out with the rest of them.

"I guess that's where Zell went…" Irvine was leaning against the wall, arms folded across his chest. Seifer Almasy and Zell Dinchit had gotten into a brawl in the middle of the hallway. Quistis looked away. She had been dating Seifer for a few weeks, and knew about his violent tendencies.

"Come on Chicken - wuss!" Seifer yelled, punching Zell in the stomach, sending him sprawling. "You can do better than that!"

"Jackass." Zell coughed, getting up.

"Zell!" Selphie shouted.

"I'm okay." Zell leaned against the wall for support. Seifer turned, and began to walk away. Zell ran, and lunged at him, but it seemed like Seifer was expecting this, because he kneed Zell in the stomach, and he fell over.

"What happened here?" Cid, the dean of students pushed his way through the crowd. Squall tried to find that girl's face again in the crowd, but she was gone. He didn't see her again for a while, she wasn't in any of his AP classes.

Her name was Rinoa Caraway, though she usually used the last name 'Heartilly' instead; Zell told him, she was a friend of Selphie's. Other than that, no one knew anything about her. A few days later, she came to school with a black eye, the next, her cheek was cut up. A few days later she was on crutches, she had sprained her ankle. She would smile at everyone, and act happy, but everything wasn't all right.

_Suddenly, I know I'm not sleeping,_

_Hello. _

_I'm still here, _

_All that's left of yesterday._

It was a Wednesday, raining, when Squall went to the cemetery, like he did every year to visit his mother. The cemetery was sixty miles away, the next couple towns over. He was going ninety - five miles on the highway, you never knew if a high-speed collision was waiting to happen.

It was funny, he thought, how, when someone close to you dies at first, maybe you would go and visit them every day, assuming they were buried. Then, every so often, perhaps every few months. Then once a year on some monumental date, their birthday, or the date of death. Slowly, you stop coming. You might go every so often, once in ten years or twenty. Then the visits stop.

On so many gravestones it says 'Gone but not forgotten'. When someone close to you dies, you never really forget them, they stay with you, like a splinter or a shard of glass in your memory, a small pain that refuses to go away. But when you die, no one is left to remember them. The dead are always forgotten.

The rain was coming down heavier when he stopped the car on the small driveway filled with mud and pebbles. He got out, slamming the door closed. This place was familiar.

He found his way through the familiar rows of gravestones and trimmed hedges.

'Raine Loire;

Loving Wife and Mother'

**(II)**

Mathematics. Friday.

Rinoa's lower lip was cracked and swollen.

"Oh man, Rin! What happened?" Selphie Tillmitt ran up to her at the beginning of class.

"Well, actually… umm… I was playing in the backyard with Angelo, my dog, and I, um… fell. On the concrete. I'm okay though." Rinoa mentally reminded her self to smile and laugh it off.

"Okay everyone, I am talking, which means that you are quiet." The math teacher, Miss Lennoc smiled and bobbed her head. Selphie raised an eyebrow.

"I wonder how much coffee she had today?" Quistis asked Rinoa, who shrugged.

"Text books, page 133." Miss Lennoc gave up.

Squall sat in the back of the room. He hated this class. He hated all of his classes.

"Umm… Do you know how to do this?" Rinoa turned around, pointing to a page in her book. Graphing a Parabola. The assigned lesson. Squall nodded.

"Great. You can help us." Selphie grabbed her books and sat down next to him. Quistis walked over to join them.

"Is that your mom?" Quistis looked at a photograph Squall had in his hand. It was crumpled and wrinkled in many places and yellow around the edges. Squall and Ellone were in the picture too, as well as Laguna. It had been a family photograph. Squall didn't answer. He shoved the photograph in his pocket.

"Do you want me to help you or not?"

After the bell had rang, everyone piled out into the hallway. Rinoa waited for Squall at the doorway. "Hey!" She grabbed his arm. " Thanks for the help… and I - I'm sorry about your mom." Squall jerked his arm away.

"You don't know what it's like, okay? So just shut up and leave me the hell alone!" He snapped, and then stormed off. He glanced back once, Rinoa was still standing in the doorway, her backpack slung across her shoulder and her textbooks in her arm. She was looking at the floor. For a second Squall thought she might cry.

"Hi Rinoa. What's wrong?" Quistis approached her. Quistis had a black eye. Squall could guess where she got it.

"Nothing. I'm okay." Rinoa smiled.

Squall shook his head and kept walking.

**(III)**

"Hey." After school. Zell Dinchit casually approached Squall. "Can you give me a ride?"

"I have to go to work." Squall said.

"Jesus. How many jobs do you have? You need to take a break or something."

"When you own a house, you'll understand." Squall opened the car door.

"Where are you going?"

"It's Thursday. I'm bussing tables at that Italian restaurant." Squall shrugged.

"You know, I could get you a job at the grocery store." Zell offered "My dad understands your situation. He can be more flexible, y' know, with scheduling and stuff." Zell's father, Mr. Dinchit, owned the local grocery store.

"No thanks." Squall said.

"Hey! Quistis!" Zell turned and ran.

"Hi, Zell!" Quistis waved. "I'm assuming you need a ride?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. I'm just waiting for Selphie and Rinoa. They went back inside to get something." Quistis moved over to the driver's side of the car. "So how's your father doing?"

"Oh, he's okay. The new treatment they put him on seems to be working."

"I'm really sorry, about the whole thing. I hope everything turns out all right."

"Everything 'll be fine!" Zell said. "My dad's a tough guy, he can handle anything."

"Fuck off, Chicken shit." Seifer Almasy walked up behind them. "Hey." He nodded to Quistis, who looked down and blushed.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" Zell puffed out his chest, standing as tall as he could.

"You talking to me?" Seifer towered over him. "Get the fuck away from my girl."

"Quistis is not your personal property jackass!" Zell shouted at him. Seifer lunged at Zell, his haymaker punch missed it's mark - and then all at once a fight broke out.

"Hey! Guys! Knock it off!" Quistis tried to separate them, but somehow in the confusion Seifer elbowed her in the face. Quistis fell backwards on the pavement, her nose bleeding. She gingerly brought a hand to her nose, and then examined the blood on her fingertips. She just looked at Seifer, still trying to piece together what had happened.

"Oh my god! Quistis!" Rinoa and Selphie had seen what happened, and ran over. Rinoa was helping Quistis get up.

"You bastard!" Selphie shouted at Seifer, her fists clenched and knuckles white. Seifer stood there, in shocked silence, realizing what he had done. He ran off and drank a lot that night.

**(IV)**

It was late when Rinoa got the phone call. It was maybe twelve thirty or one in the morning. She ran out of the house, followed by Angelo, who was barking hysterically, while putting on a denim jacket and talking on the phone.

"Quistis! Where are you? Dammit, do not hang up this phone! Where are you!? I'm coming. Hang on." She threw the phone down on the front lawn and took off down the street running. "Stay, Angelo!" She shouted over her shoulder. The dog obediently whimpered and sat down on the sidewalk.

Squall was driving home from work, he was tired mostly because the effect of the coffee he'd had a while ago had worn off. Suddenly, someone ran out into the street, he slammed on the brakes.

Rinoa was standing there, for a moment she was to startled to move. She took off running again. She reminded him of a startled deer.

"Sorry!" She called out behind her.

Rinoa ran the three blocks to Quistis's house. She didn't even bother to knock on the door, It was left wide open. Her heart was pounding in her ears. She ran in, and quickly looked around. There was a crashing sound like a beer bottle being smashed against a countertop. A sound that was sickeningly familiar.

There were a series of a few muffled screams. Rinoa put her hand on the doorknob, and flung the door open. Seifer had Quistis on the floor, and he was holding a rolling pin in his hand.

Rinoa flew at him. She hit him twice. Quistis screamed, and Seifer flung Rinoa into an end table that had a white lamp on it. The end table fell on its side and the white lamp smashed hitting the floor.

Seifer swaggered over to her. Rinoa could tell he was drunk. He laughed a kind of laugh that is only manageable while intoxicated. He kicked her in the stomach several times before Rinoa coughed up some blood.

Something or someone grabbed him, and flung him to the floor. Rinoa looked up. Squall. Quistis crawled over to her. Her hands and arms were bloody, they looked like clean cuts from glass shards.

"Thank God, Rinoa." Quistis's breathing was labored.

"We have to get you to a Hospital…" Rinoa coughed.

Seifer made a downward slash with a steak knife he'd managed to grab across Squall's face. Blood spurted across the floor. Squall grabbed a broken glass bottle on the floor, and made a clean cut across the bridge of Seifer's nose.

Seifer swaggered, and fell backwards, out cold.

"Are you okay?" He asked Rinoa. She looked a little confused, but nodded. "Good." Then he walked out.

"Wait!" She said. "I need to take Quistis to the hospital."

Squall had his car parked out in the front. Rinoa helped Quistis get into the back, and then sat down with her. Squall got the engine started, and went tearing down the street.

**(V)**

Quistis took thirty-six stitches total to close the cuts in her arms. The doctors tried as asking her what happened, but Quistis just shrugged and said "I fell.".

"You really should get that cut looked at." Rinoa said to Squall in the waiting room.

"I'll be fine." He said.

"Hey, I heard what happened!" Selphie burst into the waiting room. Irvine and Zell were with her. "Thanks for the call, Rin. How's she doing?"

"Quistis is fine. She's going to be okay."

"That bastard!" Zell mumbled, obviously referring to Seifer. "When I get my hands on him…"

"Chill." Irvine said. "You won't have to. Quistis can press charges, right?" He looked at Rinoa. She shrugged.

"That's up to her."

"Huh? You mean he can just get away with it?" Irvine looked a little confused.

"If Quisty doesn't want to press charges…" Selphie shrugged. "He could." Rinoa looked away.

"Did you call Quistis's parents yet?" Zell asked Rinoa. She shook her head.

"No one was answering at home."

"I'll call her parents." Selphie volunteered. "Rinoa, you look really tired. You should go home and get some rest. I'll stay here."

"You sure?" Rinoa asked. "You have to promise to call me if anything else happens." She said.

"Okay." Selphie nodded. "Now go home!"

"Do you need a ride?" Squall asked her. Rinoa shrugged. She was shy, afraid to ask for a favor.

"I can walk, I guess." She said.

"Really, Rinoa. Your house is kind of far away." Irvine said. "Squall will give you a ride home. Don't you guys live right next door to each other, anyway?"

It was around three in the morning on Saturday when Squall and Rinoa got in the car. Rinoa looked really tired her eyes were bloodshot.

"Squall?" She asked.

"What?" he said, trying not to sound exasperated.

"Thank you." Rinoa was looking out the window. "And before… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything." She was referring to the incident that had occurred in the hallway earlier. She was too kind, maybe to the point of being naive. In her eyes, everything was somehow her fault. Squall stayed silent. By the time Squall parked the car in front of his house, Rinoa was asleep.

"Wake up." He said. Rinoa's eyes shot open, and she bolted upright. She looked around, then seemed to relax a little.

"Sorry." She mumbled, getting out of the car. She walked over to her house where Angelo was waiting for her obediently, sitting on the sidewalk.

**(VI)**

Time seemed to drag, the minutes were like hours. It was Seven AM, Rinoa only slept for two hours before her father's loud cursing and muttering woke her up. The first rays of sunlight were traced faintly across the sky. She rubbed her eyes, and got up. Her father was downstairs, probably hungover from getting plastered the night before.

Rinoa went downstairs, and started to pick up her father's mess. Beer bottles and bottle caps littered the floor.

The phone rang.

"Hello?" She answered.

"Rinoa? I- Is that you?"

"Quistis? Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"No, I'm fine. Sorry to call so early… I'm home now. Selphie told me what happened, I don't even remember, really. I know I called you, and you came. Seifer hit me over the head with a bottle, then… I don't remember."

"It's okay." Rinoa got up. "So how are you feeling?"

"Like a big idiot." Quistis sighed.

"But you're okay, now. Just try to put the whole thing behind you. Learn from it."

"I know, I know. I just wanted to call and say thank you. Thank you for everything. I hope I didn't wake you up. I didn't wake you up, did I?"

"No, I was up already. I'm glad your feeling better. But you really should thank Squall. He's the one that came to get us."

"You're kidding."

"No, I'm serious. I left to come get you, and he must have followed me. He showed up just in time, too."

"Wow. You don't think he told anyone… do you?"

"You can talk to him." Rinoa suggested.

"Rinoa?"

"Yes?"

"If you ever need anything, you know. You can call me. Oh, and Please don't tell anyone… about what happened."

"Okay. Promise."

"Bye." Quistis said.

"Bye." Rinoa hung up.

Squall got home early, It was Saturday, he worked at the hardware store that closed at six. He was getting out of the car when something caught his eye. In the passenger seat was a denim jacket. This must be Rinoa's. He thought, picking it up.

He walked over to the Caraway house, and knocked on the door.

"What the Fuck is this?" Caraway swaggered into the kitchen. He was holding a wrinkled white collared shirt - the kind he would wear for work.

"Laundry." Rinoa took a step back.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!" He shouted.

"It's laundry, dad! Just laundry!" Rinoa said. She had forgotten to air - dry his shirt. He didn't like it when his work shirts were done in the dryer and came out wrinkled. And when he was drunk, everything got blown out of proportion. He lost his temper.

"Don't you talk back to me."

Rinoa was sent sprawling when he backhanded her. She hit her head on the counter. "DON'T YOU EVER TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!" He picked her up, and slammed her head against the table. Angelo, outside, started barking. The doorbell rang.

Her father, distracted, went to answer it. He opened the door.

"Who the fuck are you?" He asked.

"I live next door." Squall said in the same emotionless tone that he used to address everyone. "I think this is Rinoa's jacket."

"Help… Squall… help…" Rinoa said in voice no louder than a whisper. It was all she could manage. No one heard.

"Rinoa isn't here right now." Mr. Caraway said quickly, then slammed the door.

Squall stood on the front porch, wondering what had just happened. Angelo, the dog, was barking. Something wasn't right. A small piece of paper fell out of the jacket pocket. Squall picked it up.

It was a photograph. A small Rinoa, she was maybe nine or ten, with a young woman he could only assume was her mother. He turned it over.

Julia Heartilly-Caraway

So this was Rinoa's mother. He put the jacket on a wooden chair on the porch, thinking Rinoa would find it there when she got back, then left.

There was a large bruise on the side of Rinoa's face when she went to school on Monday.

"Oh, no!" Selphie ran up to see her. "What happened this time?"

"I got up really early this morning, and I guess I wasn't really awake yet or something, but I walked into the door." Rinoa smiled, Selphie laughed, Quistis looked like she was thinking. "Quistis? How are you doing?" Rinoa asked.

"Oh, I'm okay." She shrugged. "Selphie had to talk Zell out of going down and beating the Shit out of Seifer, but I'm okay."

"Good." Rinoa nodded. The bell rang.

**(VII)**

Irvine skipped school that day. Instead he was sitting on top of the roof of his house having a cigarette and watching the sun come up. He started smoking more heavily recently. His dad had left him and his mother when he was still very young, three or four. He had grown accustomed to hearing his mother crying at night, wishing he would come home.

One thing Irvine could never understand was the relationship between his father and his mother. His father was out every night, going to bars and entertaining the ladies, while his mother would stay home with him. Irvine wasn't sure if she chose to ignore or was simply oblivious to his extramarital relationships. Whatever it was, she loved him. She really, really loved him. She was so lonely when he wasn't there, but when he was, She wouldn't even spare her son a passing glance, she was so wrapped up in just smiling like a happy lovesick idiot staring at her husband.

A year after he left, when it finally sank in that he wasn't coming back, she tried to kill herself. Irvine went to live with his aunt, his mother's sister, for the six months his mother was in therapy. His aunt complained to him constantly about his father - Calling him a 'Damn horny bastard' among other things. Maybe it was because his father was always the center of attention, no matter what the circumstance, that Irvine began to idolize him. When his mom got out of therapy Irvine went to live with her again. He was fifteen when he went out on his first date. He had gotten back late, and his mother was sitting down on the couch. She didn't look at him, only muttered "Your just like your father."

It was only a few months ago that she met Bo, some rich jackass from the city who supposedly had a great personality. His mother was working in the grocery store when she met him. Bo was a tourist. He started flirting with her and Irvine watched her look down and blush.

"Mom!" He said loudly, trying to bring an end to the conversation. "Can I borrow the car?"

"Oh, sure." She said, snapping back to reality. She fished the keys out of her pocket, and tossed them over to Irvine. "It needs gas. Oh, and remember to pick up the dry cleaning." She looked ashamed to be talking to him in front of this man she didn't even know yet. "Oh, Irvine, this is Bo." She pointed awkwardly to the man.

Knowing she had a son old enough to drive didn't seem to phase Bo. However, he persisted until he eventually got a date with her for the coming weekend.

It was all well and good until Bo started coming out on the weekends and having sleepovers. Bo would make fun of Irvine, calling him a pansy, because of his hair. His favorite line was: "Pansy cowboy, why don't you cut your hair?"

Irvine tolerated these insults, and either his mother chose to ignore what was going on or she simply was oblivious to it. She wouldn't even look at Irvine anymore, she was too busy looking at her boyfriend, smiling and acting like a happy lovesick idiot.

(**VIII)**

On Saturday, Rinoa was out walking Angelo down main street around lunchtime. Her father had lost his job, and his drinking became more frequent. Rinoa couldn't sleep unless she moved the heavy dresser in front of her door so her father couldn't come in and beat her. She reached into her jacket pocket to pull out the photograph of her mother, only it wasn't there. Instead, she looked down at the ground and kicked a stone that had been lying there.

There was a red 'Help Wanted' sign in the Grocery store window. Rinoa tied Angelo to a signpost, and went in.

"Hi, Rinoa." Zell waved. He was working at the cash register.

"I saw a 'Help Wanted' sign in the window."

"Oh, yeah. You'll have to talk to my dad about that. He's in the back." Zell jerked his thumb.

"Thanks." Rinoa said.

"Looking for me?" A middle aged man emerged from the back room. "Slow today." He shrugged. This man had already gone bald, and was thin, and a little pale. "Hello, I'm Mr. Dinchit." He introduced himself. "And you are?"

"Rinoa Heartil- I mean, Rinoa Caraway. I noticed you had a 'Help Wanted' Sign in your window."

"Oh, really?" He said, becoming interested. "You worked before?"

"Well… not really..." She shrugged.

"Okay, That's fine." Mr. Dinchit nodded. "You can learn. The tourist season's over, so it's been quiet. Can you come Weekends, Saturday and Sunday? Say four to seven. Start next week?"

"Really?"

"Sure." Mr. Dinchit waved his hand.

"Thank you." Rinoa said, she smiled, then left.

Mr. Dinchit began to cough violently. "Are you okay, Dad?" Zell asked. "Maybe you should go sit down." Zell ran over to him.

"I'm okay." He said when he got his breath back.

It was around seven on Sunday night. Irvine was at the beach with Kara, at least that what she told him her name was. He had only met her about three hours ago.

"The stars are beautiful tonight." Kara commented.

"Yeah." Irvine agreed, but he wasn't looking up at the stars. He was thinking about how different this girl was from his own Selphie. She spoke softly, and when others spoke, she listened, not just waiting for her turn to speak. Her parents were probably tourists, out for the weekend and then he would never see her again. "Beautiful." He added, and his lips met hers.

**(IX)**

Sunday night at the grocery store.

Zell had left early with his dad, and Rinoa was supposed to close up. The bell over the door rang to announce someone was coming in. She had been putting price tags on the canned soup when Squall came in.

A few minutes later he had a basket filled with groceries. Squall regarded Rinoa with a brief glance of recognition.

"Hi." Rinoa walked behind the counter and smiled. "I was just about to close up. Um… That's 23.60 total." She glanced at the register. "Hmm… T.V dinners and Beef jerky." She commented, putting everything into a brown grocery bag.

Squall gave her the money, took his bag.

"Bye." Rinoa smiled.

"Wait." Squall said suddenly remembering something. "I think this is yours." He pulled a small, yellow crumpled photograph, and gave it to Rinoa. She took it carefully and looked at it for a long time.

"Thank you." She said, and meant it.

Leaving, Squall glanced back in the window. He could see Rinoa still standing there at the cash register, looking at the photograph in her hands, and she was crying.

"Alcoholism is a disease." Mrs. Edea Kramer, the health teacher said to the class on Monday morning. Zell was sitting in the back of the classroom sleeping, and Selphie was humming. Quistis sat listening with rapt attention, and Rinoa looked down at the floor. She had heard this all before. "It affects 3,000,000 people in this country under the age of 18." At this point, most of the students were looking at Seifer, or at one of their friends who had probably gotten plastered over the weekend. "This shows the recovery rate of alcoholics who accept help." She pointed to a diagram on the board. "If there has been a loss in the family, the alcoholic has a 50 chance of recovery. If they suffer a job loss, it drops to 30. For a total or near loss, there is only a 3 to 5 chance."

The bell rang. "Test on Wednesday!" Mrs. Kramer said as everyone was filing out of the room.

"Her name's Kramer, right? Is she related to the principal? Cid Kramer?" Rinoa asked Quistis.

"Related? They're married." She answered.

"Oh." Rinoa shrugged.

"Yeah, five years ago, when it was her first year here, one of the guys told her she had a nice ass, and oh my god, Cid wanted to get them expelled for sexual harassment, but the board wouldn't let him, so he got them five days suspension instead." Selphie added. She was chewing gum. "Well, I guess I'll see you later."

"Bye." Rinoa waved.

"Where's dad?" Zell got home from school, His mother was at the counter, cutting up vegetables, crying.

"Oh, Zell!" She couldn't look at him.

"Where's dad? What happened?"

"Your father… He went in for his operation today… at eleven o' clock… The doctors…" She broke down crying.

"Mom, what happened to dad?" Zell dropped everything he was holding on the floor.

"The cancer had already spread… they couldn't do anything Zell, not a damn thing… He died in surgery." The sobbing got worse. "Zell, I am so sorry…"

Zell stood there, everything seemed not quite real. He remembered walking out of the room, and staring at a framed photograph of his father, grandfather, and him when he was seven, just before his grandpa died. He remembered picking it up and holding it so tight that the cheap frame it was in cracked at broke. He put it back, staring at the picture. Then he grabbed the black cordless phone that was next to the picture, and dialed a number.

"Squall?" He asked in a shaky voice.

Rinoa's father had lost his job. There were the constant reminders when she got home, and saw him sitting in his chair, watching basketball and having a beer. She quietly went up to her room.

The phone rang.

"Hello?" She answered.

"Hi, It's Selphie." Selphie didn't sound like her usual cheery self.

"What's wrong?" There was a long pause.

"It's Zell's dad, Mr. Dinchit. He died this morning."

"Oh my god! How is Zell doing?"

"I'm not really sure…" Selphie trailed off. "I think no matter how sick he got, they never expected it to turn out like this."

"Is there something I can do?"

"Well, Zell said that the funeral is this Saturday, I think it would be good if we could all be there, y' know?"

"Yeah." Rinoa agreed. "Did Squall talk to Zell?" She asked, remembering that Selphie told her they used to be friends.

"He called Squall first."

There was a sound of shattering glass downstairs, and Angelo barked. "Goddammit!" Her father shouted.

"I - I have to go now." Rinoa hung up.

Selphie shook her head and hung up.

**(X)**

The tears Selphie had been holding all day erupted. She started talking to herself, half of it she wouldn't even remember later. Things like 'It's okay.' Or 'Everything will be alright.' She wanted to call Zell, and tell him she was sorry, that she was suffering as much as he was. Mr. Dinchit had always been really nice to everyone. During the summer at the grocery store when they were younger he would give out free candy to the kids. On Halloween he would give out treats, and he always remembered everyone's birthday.

He found her sitting on the back steps of the grocery store once, crying because her parents had been fighting again. She told him everything, about her parents fighting and throwing things at each other, and he never told anyone. Selphie looked at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. She was a mess. Her eyes were red and puffy, and her cheeks were streaked red from tears. She splashed some water on her face, and just when she had convinced herself that she was done crying, she cried a little more. She took a silver bracelet out of her pocket. Irvine had given to her for her birthday with a promise that she could always go to him if anything was wrong. Selphie grabbed her jacket off the back of her desk chair and left.

She ran the five blocks to Irvine's house. She wanted to talk to him, really talk to him. Tell him the truth, what was happening at home.

She knocked at the door, and Irvine's mother answered, giggling, with some guy Selphie was sure she had never seen before kissing her neck.

"Yeah?" Mrs. Kinneas answered.

"Umm… I'm looking for Irvine. Is he here?"

"He's upstairs, I think." She said.

"Maybe you should come back later. I think he's busy." The man Selphie didn't know said.

"No, I'll only be a minute." Selphie's face was red from embarrassment, shame at their lack of shame. She pushed her way pass them, and went upstairs.

Irvine's door was cracked open a little bit. Selphie looked in. She could hear the sound of a young girl giggling. Not quite sure of what she was hearing, she pushed the door open a little more. Then she gasped.

Irvine was sitting on his bed, a strange girl in his arms that Selphie didn't know. This girl was sitting on his lap, and had Irvine in a lip lock.

She looked at Irvine, he was brazen enough to make eye contact with her. The girl turned to look at Selphie also.

"This isn't what it looks like." Irvine said.

"You bastard." Selphie clenched her jaw tight, and she ripped off the silver bracelet on her wrist and threw it at his feet. Her face was red - hot from embarrassment. She turned and she ran out of that house.

"Selphie?" Rinoa opened the door wider. "What happened?" She stepped out onto the front doorstep, closing the door behind her.

"It's Irvine… He…" Selphie bit her lip to keep from crying.

"Come on. Let's go for a walk." Rinoa suggested.

"Okay." Selphie nodded.

"Angelo!" Rinoa called. The dog trotted out of the garage, following Rinoa obediently. "So tell me what happened." Rinoa said as they got farther away from the house.

"Mr. Dinchit… He was kind of like family for me… I would go in and talk to him and stuff." Selphie sniffled. Rinoa pulled a tissue out of her pocket and handed it to her. "I just wanted to go over and talk to Irvine. When I got there his mom was with her boyfriend, like, they were practically making out when they answered the door. I went upstairs to find Irvine, and there was this girl I've never even seen before sucking the lips off of him!" Selphie was angry now. "Why did he do this to me?"

"I don't know, Selphie." Rinoa looked down, thinking.

"Thanks Rin." Selphie said a few minutes later when she had calmed down a little.

"For what?" Rinoa was confused. She hadn't done anything. She didn't even have any friendly advice to offer.

"For listening." She said. They had reached the main street already.

**(XI)**

"Come on, Zell. It's time to go." Zell was standing in front of the mirror, he was wearing a black suit and tie. He turned to look at his mother, who was wearing a black dress and shoes. He nodded, and followed her down stairs. Selphie was waiting for them, she tried to smile for Zell, to kind of lighten his mood, but she couldn't do it. Instead, Selphie looked down at her black shoes.

"Ready to go?" Zell asked her. Today was Mr. Dinchit's funeral, and they were going up to the city, he wanted to be buried there. He had grown up in the city, all of his relatives lived there.

"Yeah." Selphie said. "It's so weird… being here…without…" She didn't finish her sentence. "Squall's got the car out front." She jerked her thumb, changing the sentence. "Rinoa and Quistis are coming up with us. Irvine said he couldn't make it… So… I guess we'll see you there." Selphie shrugged.

"Yeah. See you there." Zell responded. He was in a dreamy state, not asleep, but not quite awake.

It was raining a little when they got up there. The earth around the gravestone was overturned, and fresh.

Zell and his mother were waiting for Squall and the others at the funeral home before going down to the cemetery.

Selphie gave Zell a hug, whispering "Zell, I am so sorry…" in his ear. Selphie and Quistis knew most of the people that were gathering, some of them were relatives of the Dinchit's, but most were friends of the family. Rinoa didn't really know anyone, she felt out of place being here.

When they went down to the cemetery, the sky was pouring rain. This place seemed familiar to Rinoa, she was certain she had been here before.

A reverend came to speak, and Selphie watched as Zell stood there with his mother, him trying not to cry, while she kept wiping at her face with a tear - soaked Kleenex.

When it was over, everyone began to leave - one by one.

Rinoa wandered off, trying to find something she was sure couldn't be here. And then she found it.

Julia Heartilly - Caraway

There was no verse proclaiming that the deceased would always be remembered, or how loved they were and how missed they will be.

"There you are." Someone said from behind her. Rinoa turned around. Squall. She turned back to face the grave. "We're leaving." He said in his usual tone, more stressed today than usual, an attempt to hide the emotion behind it.

"How is Zell doing?" Rinoa asked.

"He's okay." Came the response. "Look, you're all wet." Squall said. This was another attempt to make her leave. She didn't want to leave, she wanted to stay here. Squall took a step forward to see what it was Rinoa was staring at.

"I was ten." She said as some sort of explanation. "My mother." Rinoa was quiet for a little bit. "Go on, I'll catch up."

Squall returned to his car and got in. Quistis was waiting in the backseat.

"Selphie's not coming with us. She's going back with Zell and his mom." She explained. "Where's Rinoa?"

"She's coming." Squall put the key in the ignition and waited.

"Squall?" Quistis asked. "I wanted to thank you… for what you did, before. I really thought Seifer was going to kill me…" She looked down ashamed, waiting for some kind of response. Squall decided not to say anything. When Rinoa came back, she was soaking wet, and didn't speak at all for the entire car ride back.

**(XII)**

It had been a few months since Mr. Dinchit's death. It was late in April, and Rinoa was busy putting price tags on the merchandise. Since Zell's father died, his mother took over the grocery store. Rinoa had been working more and more, trying to pay for the bills and her father's drinking.

The alarm on her watch beeped. Six O' clock. Her shift was over. She finished with the rest of the cans before telling Zell she was leaving.

The phone was ringing when she got home.

"Hello?" Rinoa picked up the phone, letting her backpack drop to the floor.

"Hi Rinoa. It's Selphie." Her voice seemed a little shaky.

"Is everything okay?" Rinoa asked, sensing the uneasiness in her voice.

"I - I'm okay… I guess… I - I just cut my wrists."

"What?" Rinoa clutched the phone with both hands. "Why!? Do you want me to call the ambulance? What's going on!?"

"I - I don't know…" Selphie was crying, now. "I don't know what I want. Do I want to die?"

"Please, Selphie, don't do this." Rinoa was crying too. "Please, let me help you."

"No, I've had enough! I - I don't want to live any more! I have no reason too!" She screamed. Rinoa couldn't say anything, because the thought had crossed her mind on more than one occasion.

"Selphie… I- I'm coming over, okay?"

"Okay…" Selphie hung up.

Rinoa quickly dialed Zell Dinchit's number, he and Selphie had been really close since his father's death, and Rinoa didn't know who else to call.

"Hello?" Mrs. Dinchit.

"I - I need to talk to Zell."

"Who is this?"

"Rinoa. I need to talk to Zell. Please, It's urgent."

"Zell! Honey! Rinoa's on the phone!" A few seconds passed. Long seconds.

"Hello?"

"Zell!"

"Rinoa? What's going on, my mom said it was urgent."

"Selphie's gonna kill herself."

"What!?" Well, at least now she had Zell's attention.

"She just cut her wrists. I - I was going to go over there but… I don't know what to do…"

"Stay there… Call an ambulance or something… I have a car. I'll go." And the line went dead. Zell had hung up.

"Selphie!" Zell banged on the door. But, of course, no one answered. He burst in through the door. "Selphie!" He heard heavy sobs coming from the bathroom. He followed the thick trail of blood. "Oh my god… Selphie!" He was on his knees beside her. She pressed her face against his chest.

"I don't want to die." She sobbed. There was blood all over him, but Zell didn't care. He grabbed a first aid kit off the bathroom counter. His hands were shaking as he made a tourniquet for Selphie, to try and stop the bleeding until the ambulance got there. Selphie was crying and bleeding all over him. Zell heard the sirens from the ambulance as it came up the street. Selphie was white, her face drained from having lost to much blood.

Two paramedics burst into the house carrying a stretcher.

"In here!" Zell called out for them. Everything after that was a blur. Selphie was unconscious, and she was loaded onto a stretcher and brought out to the ambulance. Zell rode up with them, and held Selphie's hand for the entire ride.

They got to the hospital, Rinoa and Quistis had gotten a ride up with Squall. The doctors were asking to do a blood transfusion.

"I'll do it." Zell said.

"You may have an incompatible blood type…"

"Hook me up dammit!"

"…Zell…" Selphie's voice was so weak.

"Selphie." Zell rushed over to her. "Shh… don't talk now, everything will be alright."

Rinoa was standing in the doorway with Squall, her eyes were red and bloodshot from crying. Quistis was biting her lip, her eyes welling with tears.

"…I'm gonna die, Zell…" Selphie grabbed his hand. Zell knelt down next to Selphie, so that he was at eye - level with her.

"Please don't… I don't want to loose you, too."

"I… was selfish… I wasn't thinking…. I'm sorry. So, so sorry…" She closed her eyes.

"Vitals are dropping…" Several machines began going off.

"Selphie, no! Stay with me! Stay with me, Selphie." Zell begged. The heart monitor line went flat. Zell just held Selphie's hand and cried.

Rinoa tried to run, to leave the room. She made it halfway down the hall, when Squall caught her. Rinoa sank to her knees and sobbed, loud noisy sobs. Squall reached out gingerly to touch her. Rinoa grabbed his arm, and Squall sank to his knees beside her.

"Are you family?" A doctor asked Zell, whose head was still pressed against the bed. Selphie's hand was already growing cold. He shook his head no. "Do you know how we can contact them?" No response. "Please… I know this must be hard. She obviously meant a great deal to you, but please, son…"

"Leave me alone!" Zell shouted.

Rinoa and Squall sat in the middle of the hallway, Nurses and doctors pushing past with patients on stretchers and wheelchairs. A little girl ran by crying about her father.

"It's my fault… I should have called the hospital sooner…" She started crying again. "I could have talked to her more…"

"Rinoa, listen to me!" Squall shook her by her shoulders, trying to get her to look at him. Her face was a mess, red and puffy. "It's not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. You tried."

Rinoa looked at him, and tried to smile, but all she could do was cry some more. Quistis stood for a long time, watching this. She choked back her tears for Selphie, she needed to be strong, now.

They stayed until Selphie's parents came, and Zell stayed a while longer. He finally left when Selphie's parents asked him to.

Squall let Rinoa out when they stopped in front of her house. Rinoa turned to look back at him, once, before entering the house.

"Where the fuck you been?" Mr. Caraway demanded.

"I was at the hospital." Rinoa sniffled, looking down.

"Are you being smart with me? Don't you talk to me in that tone of voice!"

"N - no." She looked up just far enough to see the beer bottle in his hand.

"Get the fuck out of my face if you're going to cop an attitude." He snapped. Rinoa started to run out of the room, just fast enough, the beer bottle hit the door as it closed behind her.

She ran up the stairs and into her room, and locked the door. Angelo was sitting in her armchair, he wagged his tail when he saw her, but Rinoa didn't notice. She threw herself down on her bed, and beat her pillow with her fist until she started to cry again. She shook with all that crying. And when she could cry no more, she fell asleep, exhausted.

The phone rang, but she didn't pick it up.

The alarm clock went off, but she ignored it.

She had to go to work, but she didn't get up.

Rinoa wasn't sure how much time had passed. Angelo was sitting at the door, he wanted to be let out. She slowly got up, wiping her nose on the sleeve of her blue hooded sweatshirt. She glanced out the window. The car was gone. Her father was probably out drinking. She unlocked the door, and Angelo slipped out.

Rinoa walked downstairs, and out of habit began to clean, picking up the empty beer bottles and cans, and cleaning up the broken glass. She vacuumed, finding a strange comfort in these ordinary activities. She mopped the kitchen floor and dusted everything. She took out the garbage and cleaned off the kitchen counters and rinsed out the sink. Rinoa took everything out of the refrigerator, threw out anything past the expiration date, cleaned the refrigerator, and put everything back.

The phone rang again. She ignored it. She cleaned out the cabinets and wiped down the table. When there was nothing left to clean, she sat down at the table, and just stared into space, then she cried.

**(XIII)**

December meant Winter break, holidays and presents. But this year it wasn't the same. Rinoa was having trouble sleeping, she would lie awake and wonder what she could have done differently, maybe Selphie would still be alive.

Selphie's death was announced on the PA system a few days after the fact at school, and there was a moment of silence. Selphie had so many friends, students and teachers were crying.

The funeral service was held that weekend. At the wake it was raining and people were lined up out the door at the funeral home. She had left so many in pain to ease her own. Zell was a wreck, he couldn't be consoled. First he lost his father, now he had to lose one of his closest friends - or maybe Selphie was a little something more.

Rinoa felt so guilty, her eyes darted around the room. Selphie's mother and father, were standing together, her father's eyes showed no remorse, her mother had buried her face in his chest, but you could hear her crying. Zell, Quistis, and Seifer… Irvine came, but Rinoa couldn't find him. Squall was standing next to Zell, his face hiding all traces of emotion, thought today, his emotionless expression was a little more strained than usual.

She was worried about Quistis. After Selphie's death, she had called Seifer, and they were dating again. Quistis said he had changed.

Rinoa wanted to scream, run, anything. She didn't want to be here, she didn't deserve to be here. 'Why did Selphie Tillmitt kill herself? What did I do wrong?'

Squall looked at her, and Rinoa averted her gaze. Her head throbbed, and she suddenly felt very sick. She left the room, keeping her hand against the wall for a little extra balance.

It was cold outside, a December chill ripped through her light jacket, leaving her cold. The doors opened, and a large crowd of people dressed in black flooded out, there were very few dry eyes. Rinoa recognized one of them as Selphie's mother.

Selphie's father stood tall, he showed no sign of remorse or grief, her mother on the other hand, was a mess. The mother had a large bruise by the side of her head that she had tried to conceal with makeup. Everything couldn't have been all right at home… maybe that's what had made Selphie so sad.

"Are you okay Rinoa?" Quistis asked her.

"Yeah. I'm okay."

**(XIV)**

It was Friday, later in the week. Rinoa was sitting down at the kitchen table, trying to concentrate on her math homework, but there were too many things on her mind. She couldn't focus.

Angelo started barking as a car pulled into the driveway. Her father was home. Rinoa glanced at the clock. It was Seven - thirty.

"Angelo!" She called in a voice that was no more than a whisper. The door creaked open. Rinoa could just sit there, stiff and rigid, afraid of what might happen.

"Shut up you stupid goddamn dog!" He yelled. He was drunk again, his words slurred together, but Angelo continued to bark.

'Please… be quiet…' Rinoa silently pleaded. Her father kicked the dog, and Angelo let out a startled yelp, and was thrown onto his side. He beat on the dog two more times before Rinoa ran up behind him and grabbed his arm, as he raised it above his head for another blow.

"No! Stop it!" She pleaded.

"Who the hell do you think you are!" He whirled on her, pushing her against the wall. A mirror that had been hanging there fell off of it's hook and crashed to the ground. He picked her up by the hood of her sweatshirt and threw her back down to the floor again. Rinoa hit her head pretty hard, her skull had already been cracked and bruised several times before, and everything was beginning to blur and grow dim.

She reached back to touch the base of her skull, and brought her fingers close to her face to examine. Blood.

Her father wasn't done yet. He turned back on Angelo who was growling at him, and kicked the dog. Angelo yelped and padded backwards, tail between his legs.

Rinoa threw herself at him, pounding on his back with her fist. He punched her in the stomach, and she fell backwards. Something fell off a shelf and broke. He picked up one of the wooden chairs from the kitchen table and threw it, then broke off the leg. He walked back over to Rinoa and grabbed her arm. He started to twist it, and Rinoa was screaming in pain, it felt like any second that her arm was going to break.

"Shut up!" He pulled on her hair, forcing her to stand up, and swung the chair leg squarely at her ribs. Rinoa heard something crack, and an immense pain as she fell. One of her ribs was broken.

Then, there was a knock at the door. Muttering curses under his breath, Mr. Caraway got up to answer the door. "What the hell do you want?" He asked.

Rinoa crawled over to the phone. Quistis said to call if I ever needed any help. Dialing the number was difficult, she couldn't really see straight. She had never seen her father this angry before. Ever.

"Hello?"

"Qi-stis…?"

"Who is this?"

"… I think he's gonna kill me…" In her pain, Rinoa could barely speak.

"Rinoa? Where are you? Rinoa? Hello?"

Rinoa heard her father come stomping back into the house. She hung up the phone, and she just lied down on the floor for a few minutes, very still, trying not to fall asleep.

"Are you commin' or not?" Someone who's voice Rinoa couldn't recognize asked.

"Yeah, Yeah. Jus' need my jacket…" Her father said, then he left.

Angelo came limping over to Rinoa, and he started licking her face, almost like he was trying to keep her from going to sleep as well. Then he curled up next to her. Rinoa tried to get up, but couldn't.

There was a knock at the door. Angelo got up, and stood over Rinoa, growling.

Quistis pushed open the door. "Rinoa?" She asked, she looked down and pushed a beer bottle away with her foot. Quistis walked into the kitchen, and turned a light on. "Oh my god…" She said. Rinoa was lying on the floor, her hair was matted with blood and her nose was bleeding. Her dog, Angelo, recognized Quistis, and limped over to her, licking at her hands.

"Rinoa? Rinoa… talk to me, Please!" She knelt next to her.

"Quistis?"

"What happened to you? I - I'm calling the hospital." Quistis grabbed the phone.

"N- no… please don't."

"Come on, we're getting you out of here." Quistis's voice was shaky, she was trying to hide just how afraid and emotionally strained she really was. She picked up the phone, and with shaking hands dialed 911.

"You're going to the hospital." Quistis answered firmly. And then Rinoa cried. Sobbing and bleeding all over the white linoleum of the kitchen floor. "What happened to you…?" Quistis asked, more gently.

"I… fell…. Down some stairs…tell them I fell Quistis… please?" Rinoa sat back in her chair, she was still crying, but not making as much noise.

"Should I call you father?"

"No!" Rinoa snapped out of her daze. "No! you can't call my father! You can't!" she insisted.

"Shh… calm down. Okay… I won't call your father. Just lie still until they get here. Don't try and move anything." Quistis was surprised at how level - headed she sounded, yet her hands were shaking. She was confused, and scared, she didn't want to lose another friend. Not again.

"What the…" Squall saw the white ambulance parked outside Rinoa's house. He had just stopped off at his house to change his clothes before heading off to a different job. They carried Rinoa out on a stretcher, she was a mess of blood and tears. Quistis followed them, she looked like she was about to cry, too.

"Quistis! What's going on?" Squall ran up to her. His voice a little strained. "What happened!?"

"I - I don't know… She called me a little while ago, she sounded really bad… I don't know what happened."

"Did she…?"

"No." Quistis shook her head. "That house is a mess on the inside… It looks almost like she was beaten or something…"

"You go in the ambulance." Squall said. "I'll follow in my car and meet you there."

**(XV)**

Rinoa had been asleep, and when she woke up, she was looking up at a white ceiling, from a white bed in a room with white walls. There was a T.V on somewhere; Rinoa turned her head. Her neck hurt, it was still a little sore. Morning sun streamed in through a window.

"You're awake." Quistis said. She turned off the T.V "You had us worried…"

"Where am I?"

"You're at the hospital." Quistis answered. When Rinoa didn't respond, she decided to ask another question. "What happened to you, Rinoa? You were really beat up. The doctor did X - rays, to see if anything was broken. One of your ribs got dislodged. They had to surgically remove it, because it could've pierced your lung. They also found out that most of your other bones have been either fractured or broken at some point. They had to stitch up the back of your head, too."

"I fell down the stairs. Tell them I fell down the stairs." And then she closed her eyes. She was tired.

"How's she doing?" Squall entered the room carrying a cardboard tray with coffee.

"She was awake a second ago. I think she's gone back to sleep."

"Did she tell you what happened?"

"She told me to say that she fell down the stairs." Quistis reported. There were dark circles under her eyes. She had gone home last night, but couldn't really sleep, so she returned earlier that morning.

Squall's eyes were bloodshot, he had been up all night.

"Aren't you working today?" Quistis asked him.

"I took the day off." He said. "They gave me a hard time about it though; because I took off for the… funeral."

"I - Is my dad coming?" Rinoa asked in a weak voice.

"I called him." Quistis said. "But he wasn't home."

Rinoa breathed out a sigh of relief. "So he's not coming?"

"I guess not." She answered. "What happened to you?"

"Where's Angelo? Is he okay?" Rinoa dodged the question with another question.

"I don't know. He's still at the house." Quistis raised an eyebrow. "I'm sure he's fine. Your dad will take care of him, won't he?"

"No! no! You can't leave Angelo alone!" Rinoa sat up, she felt a sharp pain in her side, but ignored it.

"Shh… Lie down. You'll hurt yourself." Quistis tried not to sound confused.

"I want to go home."

"Three days. The doctor said three days. Now calm down." Quistis said. But this made Rinoa even more upset.

"I can't leave Angelo alone for three days…" She looked down at her hands, twisting them in her lap. "He's all I've got left, now…" Rinoa said softly, but no one heard her. Then she brought her hands up to cover her face, and cried. "I want my mom…" She cried, sounding like a child.

Squall just watched her, he could do nothing. Quistis sat down next to her, and placed a hand on her back.

"It's okay, Rinoa." She said in a soft voice.

"I can take care of your dog for you." Squall offered. Rinoa just bobbed her head, her face still covered with her hands, as her way of saying Thank You.

"I want to go home." She mumbled.

"To that dump!?" Quistis immediately wished she had said it, but when she found Rinoa, the house had been in a complete shambles.

"No…I want to go home; to the house by the ocean… with mom."

Squall stood still in the doorway for a minute, and shook his head.

"I know you didn't fall down the stairs." He said over his shoulder. Rinoa just started crying again.

"I don't have anywhere else to go." She said. When Squall turned around to leave, his path was blocked by a middle aged man who was covered in the stench of alcohol. He recognized this man as Rinoa's father.

"Mind gettin' outta my way, Champ?" He asked. Squall reluctantly stepped aside. Rinoa sat stiff and rigid, she gripped Quistis's arm with one hand, and one of her sheets with the other. Her knuckles were white. She looked so scared, It was in her eyes.

Everything made sense now.

The bruises, the cuts, the lame excuses.

"Aren't you going to say 'hello' to your father?" He asked. There was a brief pause.

"H - hello."

"I talked to the Nurse. Said you wasn't gonna be out for three or four days."

"I guess."

"You bein' smart with me?"

"N - no."

"Good. You gotta learn to stop being so clumsy." He said, narrowing his eyes at her. "Well, I'd better be going. I've got to be somewhere." He turned around to leave, but once again, Squall blocked his way. Squall looked at him with disgust before letting him through.

Those three and a half days in the hospital were peaceful, and for the first time in a long time, she felt safe. Quistis came to visit frequently, and only brought Seifer with her once. Zell came a few times, with Quistis, but it was easy to see he was still shocked about the death of his father and Selphie.

It was on the afternoon of the third day that Squall came again. Rinoa was glad, there was someone to talk to instead of watching soap operas.

He thrust a brown paper bag at her.

"What is it?"

"Sandwich." He said. "I thought it might be better than Hospital Food."

"Thank you." Rinoa smiled at him, and placed the bag on the table next to her. "Um… how… has work been?"

Squall shrugged. "Same as always." He tried no to sound callous, but it still came across that way.

"Oh." Rinoa said. "How… is Angelo?" She asked tentatively.

"He's fine. I fed him this morning."

"Thank you." Rinoa said, and then she was silent.

"Rinoa?" Squall asked.

"Yes?" She picked up her head, and looked at him.

"What happened, exactly?"

"I…" Her voice faltered. She had to look away. "I - I don't want to talk about it." She said quietly. Squall could barely hear her. He knew what had happened. She knew he knew.

"Do you want things to stay this way? Your house by the ocean isn't there anymore. You can keep wishing to go back, but it isn't going to do you any good."

"I know… I…" For a minute Squall thought she might cry. Rinoa looked down at her hands. "I don't know."

"I'll see you tomorrow, then." Squall got up to leave, and turned his back to her. He was frustrated. Didn't she understand? He made it to the door.

"He only gets angry when he's been drinking." Rinoa said quietly. "It's gotten worse since mom…" She shook her head. "I thought that maybe it was just his way of grieving. I wanted to run away for a while, but I have nowhere else to go… My mother has a sister, but I've never met her. My mom and her stopped talking after she got married." Her voice was getting a little shaky, but she didn't cry. "I'm waiting, until I graduate. Then me and Angelo are going to move far, far away - as far away as I can."

Squall turned around to look at her.

"I'm sorry." She said. "I didn't mean to get any of you involved."

"You've done nothing to apologize for." Squall replied.

"I really thought he was going to kill me this time." She looked down. This time. Squall shook his head. He walked over to Rinoa, and placed his hand over hers. She looked up at him.

"I'll be back tomorrow to take you home." And then he left.

**(XVI)**

Angelo was waiting for Rinoa when she got home. He seemed so happy to see her, he wagged his tail and licked her hand.

Rinoa's father was nowhere to be found. Squall came in behind her, carrying the bag with some of Rinoa's clothes. Quistis had dropped off the bag at the hospital for her.

"Thank you." She said to Squall. "I'll take it upstairs." Rinoa tried to take the bag from him.

"I'll do it. You're supposed to be taking it easy, remember?"

"Okay." She turned back to Angelo, and scratched him behind the ears.

"Um… where do I put this?"

"Upstairs. First door on the right. It's the only room that doesn't smell like alcohol." She said, sounding a little sad.

Squall came back downstairs and announced that he had to go to work.

"Are you going to be okay…?" He asked. She just smiled. And then he left.

"So where are we going?" Seifer asked Quistis. They were driving in Seifer's car.

"I thought we were going to visit Rinoa. It's her first day back home." Quistis replied.

"Weren't we going out tonight?"

"Yes, but…"

"I took you to go see Rinoa this morning. Now can't I share a little time with you?" Seifer smiled warmly at her. Quistis couldn't help but smile back. She slipped her hand into his.

"Okay." Quistis said, smiling back at him. It was so nice to have things back to the way they were. I can call Rinoa later. She thought. I'm sure she's doing just fine.

"Listen, Rinoa. Just take the week off, It's fine." Zell said.

"I can come in tomorrow…" Rinoa pleaded to him over the phone.

"No, you can't." Zell insisted. "Just get some rest, okay?" And then he hung up. Rinoa hung up the phone slowly. It would have been nice to have Selphie to talk to.

There was the rumbling sound of the SUV engine as it pulled into the driveway. Rinoa led Angelo up to her room, and locked the door. She lied down on her bed, and went to sleep.

Rinoa had that nightmare again, the dream she used to have as a child. Where her mother died, slowly, screaming in pain, tortured by something, someone, only she couldn't see his face, and she had to watch.

She woke up screaming.

It was another two days before Rinoa came back to school, Quistis had been collecting homework assignments for her. Zell noticed that Quistis was happier than she had been in a long time, but he was displeased to learn that she had started dating Seifer again.

Things… were different, now that Selphie was gone. The hallways seemed a little emptier, the world was a quieter, colder, unfriendly place. In his own way, Zell knew he had always loved her, and that he always would. He was angry at her, and would be for some time, for what she did. But it didn't matter.

"Don't make the same mistake I did." Zell told Squall one morning as they sat outside smoking cigarettes, waiting for school to start. "You never know when she'll be gone."

"What are you talking about?" Squall gave him a funny look, even though he knew exactly what Zell was talking about.

"You know what I mean. How is she, anyway?" He asked.

"She'll be fine." Squall shrugged, making it sound as if he didn't care. "She's supposed to be back in school today."

"Have you heard about Quistis and Seifer?"

"I know they're back together." Squall said in a slightly irritated voice. The whole damn school had been talking about it. The whole thing was big news - everyone knew that Seifer had been beating on her. Squall didn't like it anymore than Zell did, but it wasn't his concern. And… as much as Squall wanted to beat the shit out of Rinoa's father for beating her, that wasn't his concern, either. Squall looked up, and there she was. She held out a brown paper bag.

"Sandwich." Rinoa explained. "Thought it might be better than Cafeteria food." She smiled, and hurried away.

"Do you want me to carry those books for you, Rinoa?" Quistis offered, noticing Rinoa's limp and the way she uneasily shifted the weight of her backpack on her shoulders. The final bell rang, and school was over.

"I'm all right." She smiled. Rinoa was working really hard now, not to let on that anything was wrong, but of course, her friends knew anyway.

"Okay, I'll meet you by my car, then. You still need a ride home, Right?" Quistis asked. Rinoa nodded.

"Thank you." She said, as Quistis hurried away. Rinoa made her way down the stairs slowly, and painfully, keeping her grip tight on the railing. Squall was watching her from the bottom of the stairs, as if to make sure she didn't fall. One the second step, she lost her balance, and just started to pitch forward, when Squall steadied her.

"Are you all right?" He asked, his face was very close to hers.

"Yes…I'm fine. Thank you." Rinoa said, she was almost shaking, she was that nervous. Squall helped her down the remaining steps, and even at the base of the stairs, his hands were still fastened onto her arms.

"You should be a little more careful." He said, not at all in a mean voice.

"I'll try."

"So… I'll see you tomorrow, Right?"

"Tomorrow." Rinoa smiled. Squall responded by softening his usual glare.

"Bye." He said, letting go, and walking away.

Seifer and Quistis were fighting in the parking lot. He was shouting at her, something about how she never had enough time to spend with him, and Quistis just looked down, unable to face him.

"…Quistis…?" Rinoa interrupted, trying to break up the argument.

"That's it. You spent too much time with your friends. You care more about them than me!" Seifer stormed off.

"Quistis…? Are you alright?" Rinoa asked.

"Please… just leave me alone." Quistis couldn't even look at her. She turned, and ran after Seifer.

Rinoa looked down at the pavement. She heard Quistis's footsteps as she hurried after Seifer. Quistis loved him more than she should, more than he was deserving of, anyway. It had started again. Rinoa just didn't want anyone else to get hurt.

**(XVII)**

"Hello, Angelo!" Rinoa said in a cheerful voice when she got home. It had taken her a little less than an hour to walk, but she made it. "…Dad." Rinoa stopped, and stood stiff.

"What the fuck is this?" He held out something, a piece of faded paper. On closer inspection, it was a photograph. It was a photograph of her mother. Her photograph. Rinoa dug her hands into her jean pockets, but it wasn't there. It must have fallen out.

"Nothing." Rinoa answered hastily.

"I thought I told you to get rid of all of these." His voice was calm on the surface, but underneath, he was seething with rage. He waited for some kind of response, but none came. He struck her squarely across the face.

Rinoa reeled back, staggered, and managed to regain her balance. Her mind was somewhere else. It drifted back to her nightmare, the ones she used to have. About her mother, Dying slowly and painfully. It had been no dream.

"Because you were the one that killed her." Rinoa hadn't meant to speak out loud.

"What did you say?" Her father questioned.

"Mom didn't commit suicide. You killed her. I saw you kill her." A small voice in the back of her head told her to shut up, but Rinoa couldn't stop. "You killed her!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" Caraway bellowed, he struck her again, and she lost consciousness.

When Rinoa woke up she was on the floor, her wrists and ankles were bound, and she had been gagged. The world slowly shifted into focus, and she finally realized where she was. In the basement. She made a kind of muffled sound, and turned her head.

Her father was standing over her, and he had a wild look on his face.

"I was hoping I wouldn't have to do this…" He shook his head. "That you wouldn't remember." And then he walked away. Rinoa heard him walk up the stairs, and leave through the front door. The car engine was started, and he drove away.

Angelo was outside, barking at him as he left.

Rinoa struggled against her bonds for a little while, then a strange scent caught her attention. Kerosene, and smoke. He had lit the house on fire. She tried to call out for help, but all that came out was a muffled squeal.

The dryer was nearby, close to her feet. Rinoa kicked at it with her feet, hoping to make enough noise to attract someone's attention. Angelo was barking, running in circles around the house. The smoke descended into the basement. Little drops of moisture formed at the corners of her eyes, and her vision blurred. Everything was slowly turning into black. She stopped breathing.

Next door, the dog was barking. Squall went outside, to try and figure out what was going on. The air was thick with smoke. Angelo, the dog, was digging furiously at what appeared to be some kind of basement window. Something was wrong. Squall ran over to the dog, he heard a sound like aluminum being banged. He tried to look in through the window, but it was to smoky inside, and the glass was dirty. Nearby, there was a cellar door. Squall threw it open, and descended into the smoke. Lying on the floor was Rinoa, and she wasn't moving.

"Rinoa!" Squall shook her, but she had lost consciousness. Squall carefully picked her up, and brought her up out of the cellar.

By the time the paramedics arrived, Mr. Caraway was nowhere to be found. Rinoa Heartilly - Caraway was pronounced dead on arrival at the community hospital on Friday, January 10, at six forty seven P.M Eastern Standard Time.

Rinoa still looked beautiful, even though she was dead. Squall reached out and touched her hand. It was still a little warm. Quistis burst into the room, her eyes were wide, and disbelieving. One look at Squall's glazed eyes, all of her suspicions were confirmed. She sank to her knees and began to cry an infants endless wail.

Squall turned to look back at Rinoa. He felt so much regret, looking at her face, her once smiling, lively face, made grim in death. He held her hand against his face, and let it drop. She wouldn't have wanted him - any of them to suffer. He hadn't even known her for very long, but even that couldn't account for all his grief. She was gone now, she was dead.

But, why?

**(Epilogue)**

Quistis Trepe married Seifer Almasy at the age of twenty- three. She had a small series of miscarriages before her murder two years later. Seifer Almasy was convicted and given a life sentence.

After graduating from High School, Zell took over the family grocery store. He never married.

Irvine Kinneas had many illustrious affairs with women before he died of a drug overdose at twenty- eight years old.

Rinoa's father was never put on trial for the murder of his wife and daughter. He was found dead three months after his daughter's murder. Cause of death was blood loss and trauma, however, Medical Examiner failed to discover any internal or external wounds.

Early on the morning of Sunday, January 11, shortly after the death of Rinoa Heartilly, Squall Leonheart stood on top of the bridge overlooking the ocean. His eyes were bloodshot, he clearly hadn't slept. Before taking the final plunge, he thought of Rinoa. I love you. I'll see you tomorrow.

The icy cold waters surrounded him, filling his lungs. Then a warmth surrounded him, and it reminded him of Rinoa's embrace. As the world around him faded, only Rinoa remained. She offered her hand, and he took it, and then they walked, slowly, down the path where all the footsteps led.


End file.
